I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't deserve a penis
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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