I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
