Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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