he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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