be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
A+ Viking dick
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
