I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
