if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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