it's like iHOP with fire
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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