Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
