i would punch a child for taco bell
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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