I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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