As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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