We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize