I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
