I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize