you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
