Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
