everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
