Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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