i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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