Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
