i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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