Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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