Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
