so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
