what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Boobs are out for the taking
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
