I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
