i jhust puked up my retainher.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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