walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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