My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
