When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
