so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
