There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
