She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Two words: nipple clamps
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