So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
