That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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