would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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