Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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