whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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