Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm going to jail i love you
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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