Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
