Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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