is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
