I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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