I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
