he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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