OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
