i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize