with your own penis?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
