I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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