we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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