I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
