everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
