so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
