we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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