i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
