I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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