I want to stick my p in your. b.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
