I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
