1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
