It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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