ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
