Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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