Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
